


Off the Edge of the World

by haldoor



Series: All That the Universe Allows [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 03:04:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1535174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haldoor/pseuds/haldoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Warnings/Spoilers:</b> None for the show; Steve has a male character of my own invention as a boyfriend; more angst-warnings, and as this is followed by a third part, still no happy endings in sight at the end of this part, I'm afraid. <b>Note:</b> Chapter 2 features a car crash & some minor descriptions of injuries sustained<br/><b>Disclaimer:</b> Still don't have any right to charge for these wild imaginings of mine<br/><b>Beta: siluria</b>, once again, I am more than grateful. *hugs*<br/><b>Summary:</b> In Part One, Steve met a much younger guy with whom he formed a good relationship, much to Danny's disappointment.  This part, from Steve's POV, continues where that left off, with Steve very much aware of Danny's feelings for him.  Steve finds the knowledge difficult to deal with, & an unfortunate turn of events leads all of them into even more confusing waters<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after I felt unsatisfied with the end of Part One, and then the muses told me I needed to throw a curve ball into the mix… Apologies to anyone who was hoping for a quick tidy-up and HEA within a couple of chapters

Steve watched Danny walk away, regret filling his heart. Why now, of all times? Danny could have said something a long time ago. Steve's feelings for Pete had developed into something way deeper than they'd been that first night when Danny had surprised them – and probably himself – when he discovered them together on the lawn chair all those months ago.

Back then, Steve would have dumped Pete in a heartbeat if Danny had admitted his feelings.

But now, he was way too committed, and he wasn't about to let Pete down; he seemed to care for Steve as much as Steve had come to care for him. Sighing, Steve gathered together the things he'd been cleaning the grill with and headed indoors.

Grabbing his phone from the counter as he walked past, he dialed Pete's number.

"Hey. You heading back here soon?"

Pete laughed. "You miss me already?"

"Yeah. I thought if you're done with the meeting soon, we could grab some lunch and then go for a hike."

"That sounds good, but I might be another hour. The event organizers want some more detail on the charity and I'm stuck with it; Alan's not here and I'm the only one who knows anything."

"Okay… an hour's cool. I could meet you somewhere."

"Sure. How about Kamekona's? I could eat shrimp."

Steve smiled, remembering the time Danny had cursed Kamekona out for giving shrimp tails to the dog. "Sure. Call when you're done and I'll head over there."

"You got it, lover."

Steve smiled into the phone before hanging up and heading upstairs.

~//~

"Hey brah." Kamekona grinned as Steve rounded his shrimp truck. "Don't usually see you here on a Sunday."

"Meeting Pete," Steve told him. "He's not here?"

"How would I know? I'm a busy man; I don't have time to check for your dates." Kamekona was still smiling though, and he gestured with his head as he piled shrimp into a basket and handed it to the only other person within a hundred yards.

Steve followed the gesture and nodded his thanks as he spotted Pete standing in the shallows at the edge of the water, looking out to sea. Pulling off his slippers, he gathered them in one hand and wandered barefoot across the sand towards Pete, coming up near him in the low surf and encircling an arm around him from behind.

"You feel good," he told him, kissing the side of Pete's face and just holding on.

Pete wrapped a hand around Steve's arm, holding him there briefly. "You're not so bad yourself. You okay?"

Steve pulled back, letting Pete turn and look at him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Something happened when you talked to Danny last night; you were decidedly distracted after he left, and…" He gestured in a way that couldn't help reminding Steve of Danny. "Shouldn't I ask?"

"No, it's okay to ask; I just…" Steve sighed, looking away. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell Pete about Danny, but he knew he'd be wondering and was unlikely to give up on the subject unless he got some kind of answer.

"Let's walk," Pete said, tilting his head and starting to move along the edge of the water. "Is he still giving you grief about being with me?"

Steve fell into step beside Pete, shoving one hand in a pocket and swinging his slippers in the other hand. "No, not exactly. Well, yeah, kinda."

Pete looked at him, tilting an eyebrow. "That sounds suitably vague. Surely he either is or he isn't?"

"I know he doesn't approve, but it isn't for the reasons you'd think."

Pete shrugged and stopped walking, turning to look out across the water.

Steve stopped too, confused by the reaction. "What?"

"He's…" Pete turned back to face him. "You only have to watch you two together to know he's jealous, Steve. Did he finally say something about it?"

Steve blinked in surprise. "You knew about that?"

Pete snorted softly and reached out a hand to play with the edge of Steve's button-down shirt. "I'm amazed at how blind you are sometimes. I knew straight away. I don't understand why _you_ didn't see it."

Snorting lightly himself, Steve took Pete's hand off his shirt and gripped it lightly, and they turned, starting to walk again, hands joined. "Too close, maybe?"

"That's probably it. Anyone with eyes could have told you before now."

Steve offered him a curious glance. "Why didn't they?"

Pete shrugged and let go of Steve's hand to crouch for stones, then stood by the water to skim one across the waves. Steve followed suit, picking up several stones of his own and skimming one expertly while he followed the thought to its logical conclusion. Maybe Kono and Chin had seen it as clearly as Pete had, but seeing how happy he'd been with Pete, hadn't wanted to rock the boat. What about Danny, though? Wouldn't they have spoken to him about it; wanted him to be happy?

He didn't say any of it to Pete as they took turns skimming the stones, but once they were all gone, Pete looked at him with a question in his eyes.

"What are you wondering?" Steve asked, sure Pete had something more to say on the subject.

"I don't think I should ask."

"Ask me what?"

Pete sighed, gave Steve a thoughtful look, and shook his head. "Shall we head back? Get some of that shrimp?"

Steve couldn't for the life of him figure out what Pete was thinking, but he wasn't about to push it right now; he'd had enough of thinking about the whole Danny issue. "Sure."

~//~

A little less than a week later, and although things weren't as awkward between Steve and Danny as they might be, they weren't back to how they'd been. Steve tried not to feel bad about how things had turned out, but there was no way not to. It was difficult to work with Danny without the usual ease, and he wasn't sure they'd be able to socialize without it feeling strained. He felt like he had to make an effort though.

For that reason, he decided to invite Danny to have a beer with him after work on Friday. Their latest case had kept them all busy for a couple of days, but they'd had a break-through early that afternoon and only had paperwork to attend to before finishing for the day.

"Hey," he announced as he stopped in the doorway of Danny's office.

Danny looked up with a thin smile. "Hey. Something up?"

"No, the opposite. Just wondered if you want to grab a beer with me as soon as you're done there. Chin and Kono are on their way out and I'm pretty much done too."

Danny quirked an eyebrow. "You sure you don't need me to rewrite any reports for you? Find a reason for your use of force that makes actual sense instead of whatever three words you used for it?"

It was good to hear Danny offer some of the usual banter, and Steve grinned, hopeful that things were finally getting back on an even keel. "I used ten words this time, and I think it's an actual sentence. You nearly finished?"

Danny looked away, and shook his head. "Actually, I was thinking I might have a quiet night in."

Steve's smile fled. "It'd just be you and me, Danny. Pete's working tonight."

"Right." Danny drew the word out, nodding like there was some kind of secret message in what Steve had said.

Frowning deeply, Steve moved further into the room. "What does that mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything." Danny looked up at him in mock innocence. "But I think I'll go home alone, if you don't mind."

"Danny…"

"Steve, you can't expect me to be grateful for any lick of attention you offer me. I have a life of my own, and I don't need your charity. So Pete's busy and you have time on your hands. Find someone else to have a beer with; I'm tired and I want to go home and catch my breath. In case it escaped your notice, it's been a hell of a couple of days, and going out for a beer with you is not on my agenda right now."

The sting of Danny's refusal made Steve open his mouth to say something, but before any words could come out, Danny waved his hands in front of himself and turned back to his computer.

"Don't tell me it wasn't charity, Steve. Just go. I'm not interested in being your second-best buddy. We can work together and we can socialize with the team, but there won't be any you and me hanging out from here on in, okay?"

The words were delivered in a low tone without looking at Steve and in such a casual manner as Danny began to type that it was as if he had never cared for Steve in the way he'd described when they'd spoken at Steve's.

"Okay," Steve agreed after a moment, too stunned to even protest the idea. He nodded once and backed out of the room, leaving Danny to finish his report in peace.

~//~

Steve lay on his back on the bed, watching shadows cast from the sea flicker over the ceiling, thinking about that afternoon's exchange with Danny. Pete was pressed against his side, nuzzling at his ear, relaxed after an energetic hour's worth of horizontal gymnastics.

"Mmm," Pete murmured into his ear, causing a shiver to run through Steve.

He drew Pete nearer, turned to offer him a slow kiss, and then went back to contemplating the ceiling and Danny's animosity.

Pete lifted his head and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Steve asked after a moment when the expression didn't change.

"What's wrong, Steve? You've been frowning at the ceiling for the last five minutes like it personally offended you."

Steve snorted, reaching his free hand to stroke at Pete's young face. "Maybe the ceiling _has_ offended me."

"Oh yeah?" Pete grinned for a second, then shifted to lie on Steve's chest where he could look back at his face, his chin on the back of one hand. His look turned serious. "Let me guess: Danny?"

Steve frowned for second, considering a lie, but in the end he relented. "Yeah."

"Something happened at work this afternoon." It wasn't a question, and Pete's concerned expression said he'd only worry more if Steve didn't share.

Steve tried to smile, but it wasn't working. "He doesn't want to be my friend any more." He knew his voice sounded more than disappointed and he was sure Pete would pick up on it, and say something sarcastic to drag his thoughts away from feeling sorry for himself, much like Danny would have done in his position.

Pete's eyebrows wrinkled like he was thinking his words through carefully. "I'm sorry," was all he offered in the end, his eyes dropping as he lifted his free hand to stroke softly through the hairs on Steve's chest.

Steve swallowed hard and wrapped a hand around Pete's shiny blond head, stroking through the soft strands. It wasn't fair to keep reminding Pete of Danny's feelings this way. He needed to get over Danny's reaction to them and get on with enjoying more than just the sex between him and Pete.

~//~//~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve doesn't know how to deal with his feelings over losing Danny as his best friend; he leaves the office one afternoon in a foul mood, and things get worse in a completely unexpected way. 
> 
> (Apologies for not getting this chapter posted last night; too many things were going on at home)

It was hard to remember that Danny wasn't interested in spending time with him. Steve almost asked him to come over to watch a game on TV three times in the next week, but remembered in time before opening his mouth, and backed away again.

The third time, he almost backed into Chin. "Sorry, brah; I wasn't-"

"It can't be easy," Chin interrupted.

"What can't?" Steve asked, turning to face him.

"For either of you, I guess," Chin said after looking into Steve's eyes. God knew what he'd seen there.

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Steve, I don't mean to intrude, but… it's obvious to me – and Kono's said it too – you and Danny are not happy about the way you've both abandoned your friendship. Isn't there some way you can make it work again? It's just… it's hard to watch, considering how close you once were."

Steve felt the words hit him hard in the chest. "And that's my fault, I suppose? I shouldn't find someone who I enjoy being with because I'm supposed to be Danny's _friend_ above all else, and me having a relationship with someone who isn't him is just _wrong_? Is that it?" he almost snarled, pushing past Chin and heading for the door.

"No, brah…" Chin tried behind him, but Steve was already out the door and gone, no matter how apologetic Chin had sounded.

He got in the truck and started driving; where, he wasn't sure. Halfway to nowhere, it started to rain heavily, and Steve scowled out at it, watching mindlessly as the heavy drops blurred his vision through the windscreen. He was already on a dirt track, and the mud would build up fast at this rate. Four wheel drive or not, he could get stuck. He knew he'd better take it carefully, and was just slowing down for a curve in the road when a vehicle came flying around it towards him at a ridiculous speed, and he had to swerve to miss it.

Unfortunately, the road ran out before Steve could right his direction, and next thing he was flying through the air, the truck dipping to the left as he desperately tried to drag it back. But it was too late.

Something hard clipped the side of the vehicle and it flipped, rolling over and over, Steve alternately hanging upside down in his seatbelt and being slammed back into his seat, and his head bouncing until it collided with something.

The last thing Steve was aware of was the coppery tang of his own blood as he bit through his lower lip.

~//~ 

When Steve finally came to, he was tilted hard to the left, unable to remember anything about why he was pressed against the door of his truck. The arm under him was numb and he had a throbbing headache. Blinking unsteadily at the fogged up windscreen in front of him, he took a deep breath and tried to recall what had happened. It didn't make any sense at first, and try as he would, he couldn't understand the position he found himself in.

Reaching to touch his face, his fingers came away wet and he frowned at the redness on his fingertips and tried to sit up.

The mistake that was moving forced a cry from his throat, and the pain that ricocheted throughout his whole body almost made him pass out again. 

Gulping several deep breaths as the pain slowly receded, Steve tried to minimize his movements. Once the agony had eased enough for him to breathe properly, Steve took stock of where he was and what damage he'd suffered.

He could breathe okay as long as the pain was under control, so no damage to his lungs or trachea. His right arm felt fine, but his left arm was completely wedged under his body where he was pressed up against the truck door, and it appeared that the most severe injury was there – his arm was definitely broken, although he could at least wiggle his fingers after a few moments, so the numbness he'd felt initially was not paralysis. His legs were trapped under the steering column and he could feel a hard metal edge digging into them, although he could move his feet slightly – probably only bruising, then. A jagged gouge in his forehead probably corresponded with a spider-web of glass still clinging to the windscreen immediately in front of him. Steve's stomach felt tight, but that seemed to be the seatbelt holding his body firmly, so there was more bruising in his lower abdomen in all likelihood, but it didn't appear his internal organs were damaged.

He'd probably gotten off lightly overall, although he couldn't remember where he'd been going or where he even was – apart from off the road – so the broken arm and vague aches in other places, combined with the throbbing headache he was now beginning to feel suggested that concussion was probably likely. 

The next thing he needed to do was figure out a way to get out of the truck and to medical help. He had no idea how long he'd been there, but owing to the lack of pressure in his bladder, he supposed it couldn't have been too long. It was light outside, although he couldn't decide what time of day it was; for some reason he couldn't work out how to tell that, though something inside him said he should be able to.

Fuzz seemed to be filling his head, and Steve felt the edges of his vision blurring. Something he could feel on the edge of his memory – something that could help people find him – was so vague that he couldn't quite grasp hold of its echo, and the more he tried to think what it was, the more elusive it got. The pain in his head seemed to be growing too, and he decided that if he just closed his eyes for a little while, maybe it would come to him… 

~//~

It was dark when Steve came to next, and he groped for reality through a haze of confusion. Moving caused red hot irons to run up his entire left arm and he couldn't stop a cry of pain. He stilled, closing his eyes until the flare of agony ebbed enough for him to draw breath properly and think.

He was in his truck. That much he was aware of. Beyond that, he wasn't sure. Clearly there had been some kind of accident, but he couldn't remember anything about it. He only knew he needed to get out of the vehicle and get to a hospital. Gingerly, he reached for his pocket, wary of jarring his damaged arm. His phone was there, and he could call someone to come get him.

As he eased the device out of his pocket, he could already feel there was something wrong with it, and his heart sank. It must have been knocked in the crash – and as he drew it up towards his face, he could see there was no way it would be operable, although it lit up when he touched the screen. The graphics on it were skewed and fractured, and desperation made him attempt something – anything – to make contact with the outside world, but it remained steadfast on the splintered image.

An image of Danny.

Steve frowned at the picture, swallowing hard at the thought of losing Danny's friendship. A vague feeling told him he'd done something to ruin it, and that's why he was in this predicament. If only he could remember what it was that he'd done.

He didn't need that pain now, though. He needed to get out of the truck and find help.

Shoving the phone needlessly back into his pocket, Steve tried to unbuckle the seatbelt one-handedly in the dark. The angle was awkward, and more shooting pains ran up and down his left arm as he shifted, and he had to bite his lip to stop from crying out again. The bone had to be grinding against itself to be causing this kind of pain, he decided, and he waited it out a few moments before pressing his right thumb into the seatbelt release. Nothing happened. Steve frowned, pressing again, and attempted to ignore the pain this time. Still nothing. He couldn't see to figure out if the issue was repairable, and scowled upwards, lifting his arm to turn on the truck's interior light. That at least was still working, although he almost blinded himself as it winked on.

Yanking carefully at the belt, he couldn't see any reason for its lack of release, and he pressed it several more times, hopefully at first. After several attempts it became evident he wasn't going to budge it. 

"Knife," he muttered, reaching for the glove compartment carefully. It was a distance to move, and the pain in his arm had him sweating before he managed to get it open. But inside was one of his hunting knives, and he let an unsteady breath whistle out through his teeth when the move to reach it set his damaged arm off again. He had the knife though, and soon made short work of slashing through the seatbelt holding him tight.

Trying to keep his upper body still, Steve reached carefully down to his legs, attempting to ease them away from the pedals and turn sideways. The attempt sent more ricochets of agony lancing through him and a dull throbbing ache began in his forehead, his stomach roiling at the same time. It was only with great effort that he managed to stop the bile from rising up his throat. He was trapped; his legs held firmly under the buckled dash and steering column. It seemed as if the only thing that had stopped him from being more severely hurt was the now collapsed airbag dangling into his lap from the steering wheel.

The glove box still lay open to his right, and Steve's eyes fell on it as he considered his options. An energy bar peeked out from behind some papers spread inside it, knocked from their tidy pile by the angle of the vehicle. Now that he thought about it, he was hungry, although the recent attempt by his stomach to leave his body made him falter for a moment.

It had to be past dinner time. Suddenly aware that his squashed arm probably still bore his watch, he moved without thinking, the blistering torture of the motion almost making him black out again. The watch, he realized once the pain had subsided once more, was probably as broken as his arm, and therefore useless. 

Reaching carefully for his fractured phone, Steve studied the time showing on it. Ridiculously, it suggested 13.21, which made absolutely no sense to him right now, and he could only believe it had been sent out of whack by whatever had damaged it in the accident.

Steve rested his head on the back of the seat awkwardly, trying to think. His head still throbbed, and he was sure he should be able to work out what to do next, but the mist pervading his thoughts wouldn't allow him to grasp the idea.

His team would come looking for him, wouldn't they? It was Thursday, he thought, although he couldn't be sure he was right, but something inside him stubbornly persisted in telling him it was so. If that was true, they could be looking for him already. He had a vague memory of arranging to meet someone – although he couldn't remember who – that night. And if not whoever that was, then Friday morning and his non-appearance at Five-0 would surely bring them searching.

Finally, he swallowed hard, aware that his throat was feeling dry and that water was probably his next priority, he eyed the energy bar again. It had to be better to eat it and risk being thirsty than to lie there thinking about it. He reached for it cautiously, aware now that every motion was jarring his broken arm.

Biting into the packet, he spat out the ripped corner and one-handedly drew the wrapping down far enough to begin eating. After he was done, he balled up the wrapping and squeezed it tight in his hand, feeling better for having something inside him.

Danny had to come find him; he had to.

~//~ 

Water dripping down Steve's neck woke him the third time, and it was lighter at last. Thirst had dried his throat and the sound of rain outside the truck made him swallow in anticipation. Wiping at his neck with his good hand, Steve licked at the dampness, closing his eyes at the pleasure of it. He opened them again and looked for the place where the water had come into the vehicle. 

The web of broken glass in front of him dripped water slowly onto his neck and shoulder, and Steve searched for something to catch it in. More than aware still of the pain in his arm, he sought the car's manual from the glove compartment, which was housed in a resealable plastic bag. It was difficult to remove it one-handedly, and it took a lot longer than Steve was happy with – causing yet more pain – but eventually he let it drop to the floor, less the bag, and turned his attention to gathering the slowly dripping liquid. 

Awkwardly holding the bag open under the drip, he licked convulsively at his dry lips as he waited for a decent amount of water to build up. After a few minutes, he felt unable to wait for more than the mouthful he had gathered, and swallowed it swiftly, glad for the moisture. He repeated the action several more times. The rain sounded as if it was easing though, and having no idea how long he'd have to wait for rescue, Steve knew he needed to collect as much as possible now in case it didn't rain again for hours.

Patiently, he held the bag steady, managing to get it half-full by the time the dripping had slowed to almost nothing. Sealing it was going to be an issue though, and rather than risk losing any of it, he slotted it carefully into the cup holder in between the seats. While it wasn't completely upright, it seemed to serve as a reasonable container for the meager supply he had obtained.

Once he had that in place, the next thing that became obvious to Steve was that his bladder was full. He'd managed not to think about it so far, and with the lack of hydration so far, he'd probably had no pressing need to pass anything, but the water he'd managed to swallow had obviously kick-started his metabolism and now he _needed_ to piss.

As far as he knew, there was nothing within reach for him to use to catch his urine, and he managed a weak laugh at the idea that should it not rain again before they found him, he might be forced to drink it. Much as he claimed to be up for anything, drinking his own piss wasn't something he'd actually attempted before now, and the thought didn't hold much pleasure.

He tried to think of other things; anything to stop the immediacy of the urge from making its presence felt, but it became impossible to think of anything else after a while. He had two choices: one, he could drink the water he'd already collected and pee into the empty bag, or two, he could pee onto the floor of the car. The third choice, pushed to the back of his head until necessary, was that he could piss in his pants where he sat.

A distant noise drew his attention while he was debating the options, and he turned his head, sure he'd heard his name called.

"Here," he got out weakly. His voice sounded rough, and a lot quieter than it should.

A banging against the side of the car and then a rocking motion startled him into moving and he cried out at the agony it caused, biting down on his own lip in an attempt to still the fury of the pain sizzling through him.

"Steve! Steve, are you okay?" 

Danny's voice was the sweetest sound Steve could ever remember hearing. "I'm here, Danny. Danno, get me out of here!"

The door opposite him was suddenly yanked open and Danny's worried face was thrust into the opening. "Jesus, Steve, were you trying to kill yourself?" He turned and yelled behind him, "He's here! He's alive, but we'll need an EMT! And a rope down here."

Steve smiled inanely at his best friend. "If I was going to kill myself, don't you think I would have waited till you were in the truck with me?"

"Yeah, well, we better get you out of here before you get your wish. This thing's on a crazy angle and one wrong move could send us both over the edge."

It was then that Steve noticed the harness around Danny's waist. "I'm stuck in here, Danno, and my arm's broken. You're gonna have to cut me out."

Danny's worried frown deepened. "If you're gonna do something stupid, you have to go the whole way, don't you?" He crawled further into the truck, stroking a hand across Steve's brow. "You're a little clammy and this bump's gotta hurt. You feel okay?" There was no mention of the blood that Steve was sure he was covered in, but the worry in Danny's eyes said he was perfectly aware of it.

"You mean apart from the agony every time I move my arm? I'm good, Danny. Just get me out, and let's go home."

Danny frowned at that, but said nothing as he leaned in to inspect where Steve's legs were trapped. "Can you bend your legs to the side? Maybe we can get you out."

Just then, another body appeared behind him, dressed in a paramedic's uniform, and behind that, Steve was vaguely aware of other figures in the growing light, their voices echoing in the warm air around him. Steve's focus was going – Danny's face grew fuzzy – and the last thing he remembered saying was that he needed to use the can.

~//~//~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he wakes after the accident, Steve finds his memory out of whack, which is more than disconcerting

"Hey."

The voice was soft and unrecognizable to Steve, but he knew it was directed at him. He'd blinked a couple of times, consciousness slowly returning as he focused properly on the vaguely familiar young man sitting next to him. Steve didn't have a clue where he was or why he shouldn't be in his own bed.

"Hi," the young man said, his voice trembling with emotion. "You can't know how glad I am to see you awake at last."

"Pete?" Steve managed through dry lips. The muddle that was his current thinking had dredged the name up from somewhere, though Steve still wasn't sure who Pete actually was. "Where am I?" He looked around, squinting at the hospital scene he didn't quite understand.

"You're at Tripler Medical Center. You had a car accident; do you remember?" Pete looked a mixture of relieved and concerned, if such things could be combined.

"Car accident?" Steve searched his memory, but came up empty. "How long have I been here?"

Pete licked his lips. "You've been out of it for three days, but it was more than twelve hours before they found you after the accident. Do you remember anything?" He looked over his shoulder briefly and then back at Steve. "I should call the nurse or a doctor to come see you."

Steve nodded, stunned at the information Pete had given him.

It was only as Pete let go of Steve's right hand that he realized Pete been holding it, and he furrowed his brow, trying to remember who the young man was to him. He had to be close, or he wouldn't be holding Steve's hand.

Pete left the room for a moment, returning with a nurse in tow barely seconds later.

"It's good to see you awake, Commander. How are you feeling?" the pleasant-faced young European woman asked. She checked the monitors next to him, nodding to herself as he took stock of all his body parts.

"Confused," Steve answered honestly. "Pete tells me I had an accident, but I don't remember. He said I've been asleep for a few days."

"That's right. Don't worry too much about the memory loss; it's quite common with the sort of injury you've had. Most people get the memories back, and if you remember your friend, then there's every indication you're on the road to recovery, even if you don't recall the accident itself. The trauma you went through means you may have suppressed that memory for now."

She busied herself taking his temperature and blood pressure; Steve kept quiet for now, flicking glances between what she was doing and watching Pete, who kept smiling at him like he couldn't believe Steve was okay.

"Well, everything seems about normal. Are you in any pain? "

Blissfully, Steve couldn't say he felt anything beyond a dull ache in his head. "No, I'm fine."

"The IV is set to deliver pain relief automatically, so that makes sense, but let me know if you need anything more. There's no point being a hero about it," she added with a lift of an eyebrow, like she was used to tough guys who didn't let on when they were hurting.

"Thank you," he murmured, managing a smile at her.

"The doctor's due to see you on his rounds in about thirty minutes; I'll see if I can hurry him up."

"I'll look after him for now," Pete assured her, shifting back to Steve's side as the nurse moved away.

"I know you will." The nurse looked at him fondly, and then smiled at Steve again. "You're very lucky to have such an attentive boyfriend," she told him, "and your other friends have been in several times too. I must admit, none of my other patients have the whole Five-0 team on their side. Now, I'm Karen, and you press the button if there's anything you need. I'm on till six."

Steve nodded his thanks, the knowledge of his relationship to Pete striking something inside him that knew it had to be true, despite his inability to remember anything about it.

Once they were alone, Steve glanced at his left arm, immobilized at his side, and then turned to Pete again. He licked his lips, contemplating what to say to this stranger with whom he was supposed to have an intimate relationship.

"You must be thirsty," Pete said, leaping up from his seat and pouring water into a cup on the side table. "Here." He sat again, holding the cup carefully in front of Steve and angling the straw towards his mouth.

Steve had never tasted anything as good. "Thank you," he murmured when he'd taken a few cautious sips.

"Enough?" Pete asked, his oh-so-young brow furrowing in concern.

"Mmhmm," Steve managed. "I… I uh… I can't remember much about… about… what happened. Do you know?"

"Apparently, you missed a corner on a road you were driving on. Danny said there were indications you had to swerve to avoid another vehicle coming the other way. When I say road, it was more like a track, heading up into the forest. The truck flipped a couple of times and your arm," he indicated Steve's damaged left arm, "was trapped. You hit your head as well, which is probably why you can't remember. A severe concussion, they said. I'm just… I'm glad… I'm glad you're okay." Pete's eyes had filled with tears on the last few words, and he reached to take Steve's right hand once more.

Guilt surged through Steve at the emotion in Pete's voice and his obvious caring. "I'm sorry," he offered, feeling close to tears himself.

"You don't have to be sorry," Pete got out, blinking the tears away and swallowing hard. "It's not like you did it on purpose. I just… I feel guilty."

Steve squeezed Pete's hand. "Why would you feel guilty?"

"I didn't even… when you didn't come home after work, I didn't think twice about it. I just assumed another case came up, and I left you a voice-mail message then went home to my own place. I didn't even try-" he stalled, his voice catching. He cleared his throat and tried again, as Steve listened, unable to process the information properly. "I should have known something was wrong; I should have called Danny or Chin that night."

"You couldn't know," Steve found himself saying, his thumb stroking Pete's hand where it held his.

There was a light tap on the door and they both turned towards it as it opened, revealing Danny in the doorway. His face lit up as he saw Steve. "You're awake. That's good. How are you?" He frowned a little, seeing Pete's expression. "I'm not interrupting anything? I can wait outside." He gestured behind himself, his eyes going from Pete's to Steve's.

Steve smiled weakly at him and looked at Pete. "It's okay, Pete. Can I talk to Danny for a moment? You should get yourself a coffee or something."

Pete took a breath, but nodded, letting go of Steve's hand with one last squeeze, and stood up.

Danny nodded at him as he passed, and Pete smiled at him tightly before offering Steve a worried look on his way out of the room.

"You really know how to worry everyone, don't you?" Danny asked, still standing near the doorway, his hands shoved into his pockets.

Steve took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. "Come and sit. I don't need to yell across the room."

"You sure? I could yell at you; tell you how dumb what you did was. You might prefer me to stay where I am for that."

A surge of love rushed through Steve. Despite the words, Danny's relief at Steve being okay was obvious. "Yell at me all you want; I can't remember most of it so it won't make any difference. You may as well sit."

Danny huffed, but took his hands out of his pockets and came to sit in the chair Pete had vacated. "We were all worried about you. You were pretty beat up, and they couldn't say when or even _if_ you were going to wake up. It was a fairly bad concussion."

"Pete said I've been asleep for three days."

"Yup. Just as well I had this odd feeling that night after Chin called me, and kept trying to reach you."

"You did?"

"Chin said you left the office in a rush that afternoon after… well, you seemed upset. He called me around eight; said he hadn't been able to get hold of you, and he didn't have Pete's number. He was worried."

None of this seemed familiar to Steve; in fact, he began to realize, the only thing that seemed familiar was the worry both of his teammates felt. "I don't even remember…" he began, emotions tumbling over themselves inside his chest. He closed his eyes, holding the threatening tears at bay.

"Hey," Danny said softly, gripping Steve's hand. "If this is too much… should I call the nurse?"

Steve squeezed Danny's hand tight, shaking his head slowly as he got himself under control, and then met Danny's concerned eyes. "No. No, it's okay. I just… I don't remember Pete."

"Pete?" Danny looked over his shoulder like he thought Pete would reappear, and then gazed back at Steve silently for a moment. "He's your boyfriend."

"I know that now, but… when I woke up, I didn't remember. I knew his name, but nothing else. I'm confused, Danny. I can't… I've lost time."

"And that freaks you out? Well, that goes without saying, doesn't it?" When Steve nodded, Danny continued, "The doc said you might be disoriented; have some gaps in memory. You were badly concussed, babe. He said most of it will probably come back, although there could be parts that never will; maybe the accident itself. You just have to give yourself time."

Steve let out a shaky breath. "Okay. I didn't… I didn't say anything to Pete about not remembering him; can we just keep that between us for now?"

Danny nodded. "Sure."

"Pete seems to think… that it's his fault I wasn't found sooner."

Danny's eyebrows furrowed and he bit at his lip.

"What? You blame him too? Danny, he's just a kid. How could he be expected to know I wasn't just held up on Five-0 business?"

Danny sighed. "Yeah, you're right. Of course."

"You don't agree, do you?" Some things Steve still remembered; Danny's mannerisms when he didn't agree with someone were one of them.

"In all honesty, Steve? In his position, I would have been concerned if you broke a date with me and you hadn't called or at least texted a message to me. You could have been caught up in a chase, but you can't tell me you wouldn't have managed a quick text to say you'd be late?"

"Maybe." Steve frowned at the effort thinking provided.

"Yeah, right. Pete didn't even try to call you after the message he says he left you at nine that night. Between Chin's call and then I'd left you five messages. By eleven, when I still hadn't heard from you, I drove over to your house, and then met Chin at HQ. We got hold of Pete just after midnight, and by twelve thirty we were tracking your GPS signal. Took a while to find where the truck went off the road, and then where it was resting down the bank, and it was almost five AM by the time we got you out of there. 

"If we hadn't been trying to contact you the night before, Pete probably wouldn't have reported you missing until later on the morning we found you, if then."

The implication of him being left injured in his vehicle for at least another four or five hours spun around inside Steve's head; of course he might still have been okay after that amount of time, but they couldn't know that now. No wonder Pete blamed himself.

Steve didn't know what to say, so he said nothing.

"Look, Steve…" Danny paused, slowly retracting his hand from where it had held Steve's. "The kid's young; I guess it wouldn't occur to him it was out of character for you… what am I saying?" He huffed a laugh, causing Steve to look up. "You've taken off and said nothing to anyone more than once before; maybe he knew that? I just… you know it's not how I react to your disappearances, though. We may have had our differences lately, but I still care enough about you to check on your whereabouts when something's wrong."

 _Differences?_ What differences did Danny mean? Something _more_ than their usual differences, that was evident, despite Steve's current confusion, but what?

"What was I upset about ? I don't remember." 

Danny seemed hesitant to answer, but the door opening to reveal a doctor – Steve's doctor – negated the immediate necessity, as he introduced himself and began examining Steve.

~//~

Danny had excused himself at the doctor's entrance, and Steve didn't see him again that night. Pete returned before long, and stayed with him until Kono and Chin arrived a couple of hours later, obviously having been told by Danny that Steve was awake and lucid. Steve still didn't have the heart to tell Pete he didn't remember their relationship, and managed to stay vague enough in anything he said for the kid to not realize – or at least he wasn't saying if Steve _had_ given the game away.

It was good to see the other members of the team. Chin had been present at the rescue, while Kono co-ordinated the other services needed from HQ. Steve patiently listened while Chin described the difficulty in finding him and the subsequent rescue. 

"Danny was sure you'd have beaten your way out of the damned truck, no matter how precariously it was balanced on the side of that cliff, so he was pretty shocked to find you out of commission inside it," Chin told Steve, and then grinned before continuing, "although he says you were conscious enough to joke about taking him with you if you had been trying to kill yourself."

"I was conscious? I don't remember that."

Kono gave him a sympathetic look. "Yeah, concussion'll do that to you. What's the last thing you do remember?"

Steve furrowed his brow in thought. "I remember arresting some guy for armed robbery and Danny going ballistic about the tear gas canister I threw inside his house." A sinking feeling in his gut at the expressions on Chin and Kono's faces said that was some time ago, and there was much more going on than he knew.

"What was I upset about that day?" he asked Chin to change the subject slightly.

Chin exchanged a glance with Kono and licked his lips slowly before answering. "You mean before the accident? You and Danny… you've been going through a rough patch in your friendship. I think… you'd recently had words about it, though I don't know what about exactly."

"Rough patch? I don't… what could we have argued about? Is it to do with… with Pete?"

Kono's expression said he'd hit the nail on the head. "He was never comfortable with your relationship, Steve. When you came out to all of us and introduced us to Pete… Danny… seemed to have trouble accepting it. He never really said as much to either of us, but things between you became strained."

Chin looked up from where he'd been studying his hands clasped between his legs. "It wasn't a problem for the rest of us, for what it's worth."

Steve frowned deeply. "He's homophobic?" He shook his head and turned away for a moment. It hadn't been something Steve had been easy about before – he couldn't say what had changed his mind about telling them, aside from Pete himself – and the last he remembered was that he had no intention of telling any of them that he was interested in men, unless it became necessary. Pete had obviously meant enough to him to change things. He met Kono's eye and glanced at Chin. "I never imagined that, somehow. But… in truth, I never imagined I'd be dating this kid either. How old is he? He looks so damned young."

Kono managed a smile. "He's twenty, Steve; old enough. And we like him; he's a good guy."

Chin nodded in agreement. "Maybe it's not even homophobia, Steve. Maybe it's about Pete himself. Like you say, he's young, and… I don't know how much you've thought about it, but he's a lot like Danny in many ways."

The kid was blond, but he wasn't that physically similar to Danny, Steve didn't think, but perhaps there _was_ something about his manner that reminded Steve of Danny, now he thought about it. Steve couldn't quite grasp why that should make Danny dislike Pete though. "What are you saying?"

"There could be an element of jealousy in it. You and Danny started to do less together; you were always with Pete in your spare time," Chin replied, his expression uneasy.

Kono leaned forward slightly. "I'm not sure we should tell you this, either, but there was this one night a few weeks ago when we were all at your place… Danny left suddenly without saying goodbye to anyone – except you. You said something about him needing to get up early to collect Grace, but you… you were not very happy then, and I couldn't help wondering if something had happened."

"Oh, Christ, what did I do?" Steve asked.

"Maybe it wasn't you, but he's never said anything about it and neither have you. But both of us have noticed the tension increasing between you." 

Chin put in, "You'd had some kind of argument a few days before the accident, and there was something going on that afternoon from what I could see. You wouldn't tell me what you were… annoyed about, but I guess I asked one question too many, and you took off. I… I wish I'd stopped you."

"Hey," Steve reached out his good hand and let Chin grasp it briefly in brotherly fashion. "It wasn't your fault."

Just then, a nurse put her head in the door. "Visiting hours are over. Time for the patient to rest."

Chin and Kono both nodded and stood up. 

"Take care, boss," Kono offered with a sad smile.

"We'll be in to see you again tomorrow. Any idea how long they're keeping you?" Chin asked.

"The doc wants me to stay for a couple more days; see if any recent memories come back before he lets me loose on the unsuspecting public."

"Well, I hope your sense of humor lasts that long," Chin said and stepped through the door.

Steve hoped the same thing. More that that though, he hoped like hell his memories came back soon. None of it made much sense to him, and he didn't like being out of control of things that way. 

~//~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's back at home with Pete looking after him. Naturally, he gets cabin fever when he can't be as active as he'd like.

Walking back into Five-0 HQ a few days later, Steve was nervous. Danny had visited him briefly once more in the hospital, but Pete had been with Steve most of that time and Danny hadn't said a lot. Steve had also been reticent, trying to grasp more about his relationship with Pete from what everyone was saying around him. Pete was still blaming himself for Steve not being found sooner and his guilty manner was beginning to irritate Steve. He had told the kid not to blame himself since Steve didn't, but it clearly wasn't working to allay Pete's worry.

Steve still wasn't sure how to tell Pete how little he remembered, and he couldn't decide if his act was really as good as it appeared to be, or if Pete had him figured out and was just hiding it to avoid upsetting him.

He wasn't supposed to be going into work yet, but sitting around at home was starting to drive him crazy, and Pete's hovering – when he was there rather than at school or working – was only adding to the crazy-making. In all honesty, Steve was having issues understanding why he'd even chosen to be in a relationship with the guy, and a mix of that and cabin fever had driven him back to work early.

"What the-" Danny cut himself off as he gestured at Steve, and then rolled his eyes. "Of course you'd be here. And why not? It's only been _five_ days since you came out of a three day coma! Are you nuts?" He headed for Steve, and started steering him in the direction of the nearest chair. "I guess I can answer that question myself. Sit down at least. You look like crap."

"Thanks," Steve got in, but he obeyed, sinking into the chair Danny was virtually pushing him into.

Chin and Kono grinned at each other before coming toward him. 

"Danny's right, Boss," Kono said with a concerned frown. "I bet the doctors haven't given you clearance to be back at work yet."

Chin opened his mouth to offer something – no doubt along the same lines – but Steve forestalled him by holding his good hand up. "I'm not on active duty. Just came to see how you're doing without me. I was getting bored at home."

"Did you drive here?" Danny squinted suspiciously. "Does Pete know where you are?"

"I took a cab. I left him a note."

"Who are you and what have you done with Steve?" Chin put in with a grin.

Steve held up his hand again. "Give a guy a break, willya? I _know_ I have to be careful with my arm – I broke it once before and smashed it up badly enough this time that they practically had to rebuild it, and the concussion means I get headaches and my thinking isn't always clear. I learned my lesson the hard way, okay? I'm taking it easy, honestly. I just… I was going stir-crazy at home. I shouldn't say it, but Pete wasn't helping." He shrugged awkwardly, well aware of the restrictions his cast and the sling put on him.

Danny snorted and looked away. Kono tried not to grin and failed.

Chin didn't even try to hide his own grin. "Welcome back, Boss."

~//~

By the end of the day, Steve was exhausted. He hadn't left the office, and while by his standards he hadn't done much, it had been too hard for the team to exclude him from some of what they were working on. He'd had to do more thinking in one afternoon than he had done in the days since the accident and it had worn him out.

"Jesus, you look like shit," Danny said, announcing his arrival in the doorway of Steve's office, where Steve was currently massaging his forehead with his right hand.

Steve let go of his head and smiled weakly up at Danny as he leaned on the doorjamb. "I looked like crap this morning, and now I look like shit? Thank you. That makes me feel so much better."

"C'mon." Danny straightened up, a fond smile on his face, and gestured behind him. "We're done for now. I'll take you home. You… you called Pete yet?"

Steve dropped his eyes away. He'd called Pete earlier and been told in no uncertain terms that work was the last place he should be. He'd calmed Pete down by saying he wasn't doing much more than observing and he'd be home soon, which was close enough to the truth. "I told him I wouldn't be long… about an hour ago."

Danny huffed and shoved his hands in his pockets, his own eyes on his toes. "Lying to your… boyfriend… isn't a good way to rebuild a relationship you can barely remember."

"I'm not sure I want to."

Danny looked up, his brow furrowed. "Not sure you want to lie, or rebuild the relationship?"

Steve met Danny's eyes, scared of the way his heart was thumping. "I don't know this guy, Danny. I'm not even sure…" He stopped, unable to continue, and dropped his eyes again. Danny didn't need to know this.

Danny, who had Steve's back at every turn. 

Danny, who was closer to him than a brother.

Danny, who Steve _loved_.

"You just need some time," Danny said, sounding very distant.

"Yeah," Steve agreed, still not looking at Danny. "You're right." He took a breath and managed to smile vaguely in Danny's direction. "I'm ready to go home now."

~//~ 

"Jesus, Steve; you said you'd be home an hour ago! What the hell were you doing?" Pete looked about ready to explode as Steve and Danny walked up the path to Steve's house. 

He'd opened the door as soon as Danny's car pulled in, and met them on the porch. He shifted his sight from Steve to Danny, who was behind Steve. "And I suppose you thought it was okay for him to spend all afternoon working when the doctor said he should be resting for at least another week!"

Steve frowned angrily at Pete and held up his hand. "Hold on! This is not Danny's fault! I was getting cabin fever sitting here! Danny didn't even know I was going to turn up at HQ. And he offered to bring me home a couple of times."

Pete deflated visibly, his voice beginning to quiver. "Then why didn't you let him? I was worried." He looked Steve up and down. "You look exhausted. You should be resting."

"I'm tired, Pete, but I'm also a grown-up. I can make my own decisions."

Danny finally stepped in, decidedly restrained for him. "Look, I should go. Don't be too hard on him, Pete. The guy doesn't know how to sit still for longer than five minutes."

Pete was frowning again, but he nodded at Danny as if to concede the point, folding his arms across his chest while he waited for Steve and Danny to say their goodbyes.

Danny licked his lips – nervously, Steve thought – and studied Steve's eyes. "Don't come in tomorrow. We've got things in hand. Just… take it easy – rent a couple of action movies or something."

Steve thought maybe Danny wanted to offer to come see him, but was playing it careful. Steve eyed Pete over his shoulder before turning back to Danny. "Come over for a beer when you're done tomorrow? Just to tell me about the case; that's all."

"You can't drink while you're taking those meds," Pete put in.

"Danny will have the beer; I'll stick to juice," Steve said sideways, and continued as if Pete hadn't spoken. "Please? I know this afternoon was more than I should have been doing, but I'm interested in where this thing is going, and I'll only get restless again if I don't have something to think about." He stepped back enough to angle his body so that Pete was included in his next words. "It may even help my recovery; the doc said doing familiar things can help bring memories back sometimes."

Pete looked skeptical, but he didn't say anything.

Danny offered Pete a careful look, and then nodded at Steve. "Sure. Depends how things go as to what time though; will that be okay?"

"Just don't show up at midnight," Steve grinned. "Anything earlier and I'll have the beer cold for you."

Danny smiled softly and retreated down the path, turning back at the end to offer a half-wave before disappearing into the darkness.

Steve turned back to face Pete. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to worry you."

Pete lurched forward, wrapping himself awkwardly around Steve and his broken arm. "I can't… I don't want to lose you again."

Steve patted Pete's back uncomfortably, guiltily aware that he didn't feel anywhere near the same way.

He needed to get his memory back, and fast.

~//~ 

"So, you're not going to believe where the guy had the drugs stashed," Danny said as he flopped into the lawn chair next to Steve's and accepted the beer Steve handed him.

It was just after seven the next night, and Danny and the team had wrapped up the case Steve had been helping with the day before. Danny had called on his way over to advise it was done and dusted, and to thank Steve for his input the day before, which he claimed had been a part of why they'd managed to tidy the whole thing up so quickly.

Steve and Pete had eaten already, but there were leftovers enough that he had a plate ready for Danny, although Danny declined when Pete offered to warm it up. "I can find something at home later, but thanks. I couldn't eat right now."

Steve understood the high that could come from successfully closing a case and gestured at Pete to leave it in the kitchen. Danny would probably be starving once he'd outlined today's happenings, and Steve could easily reheat it then.

"I'll just… head home then," Pete said, his brow creasing. "I should be studying, anyway. I have a test tomorrow." He came over and leaned down to offer Steve a quick peck. 

Steve returned the kiss self-consciously, aware of Danny's frown and the way he was carefully looking anywhere but at Steve and Pete.

"Thanks, Pete," Steve said, "I'll call you tomorrow. Good luck with the test."

"Yeah, good luck," Danny offered, then took a gulp of his beer, still not looking at Pete.

Pete swallowed, standing still a little longer than necessary. "Thanks. Have… uh… have fun dissecting the case."

"We will," Steve replied, watching the expressions crossing Pete's face.

"Okay, then." Pete frowned lightly, and then managed a small smile before finally backing away and heading through the house.

"Thank God for that," Steve let out softly.

Danny just looked at him. 

Steve drank from the glass of iced tea he held and met Danny's eyes. "He's smothering me with kindness. It'll be a relief to have a break from it." Danny chewed on his lip but still said nothing. Steve narrowed his eyes at him. "What?"

"Considering how content you seemed with him before the accident, I'm surprised you're not happier to have him around now."

"Look, I told you, Danny, I don't remember being with him as a couple. I… I don't know how to _be_ with him."

"If I told you that you two seemed totally in love before, it wouldn't make a difference?"

"I find that increasingly hard to believe, in all honesty." Steve shrugged, and studied the mint leaves in his tea.

"Seriously?"

Steve looked up in surprise. "Why does that seem so unlikely?"

"Hey, I dunno what seems likely or not." Danny gestured unevenly and gulped more beer. "I just… things… I don't know how much anyone's told you about anything, Steve, but you and me, we weren't exactly on great terms just before the accident."

Steve nodded, frowning into his tea. "Yeah, Chin and Kono said something about that. Pete… Pete hasn't said anything. I haven't even told him that I don't remember him, but he's got to have guessed something's up." He looked at Danny. "Why don't you like him?"

"Me?" Danny's eyebrows rose. "Did I ever say I didn't like him?"

"I got the impression you weren't that fond of him. Or else… there was some reason why you didn't like me being with him. Or… is it just because he's a guy?" Steve kept his eyes steadily on Danny, sure he was cutting close to the real reason behind his and Danny's falling out.

"Jesus, Steve, what do you take me for?"

"I don't know, Danny. I just… I don't know. There's too much that I don't remember, and I need you to tell me."

Danny pulled at his collar, looked away for a moment, and then turned back to meet Steve's eyes. "You want the honest truth here, Steve?"

Steve nodded. "I do."

"Okay. Initially, I didn't like the fact you were seeing this kid fifteen years younger than you. Christ, he looks like he could still be in high school."

Steve snorted, but didn't interrupt. His own thoughts had been pretty close to that recently.

"You introduced him to the team, and he's a good kid; a nice guy. He gets on with everyone; gives as good as he gets when he's teased; argues like a pro about things that he cares about."

Steve frowned, thinking how much the description reminded him of someone else he knew, and how little it seemed to fit the Pete he'd just been getting to know; the guy who was so convinced that Steve's condition was all his fault.

"I see that's got you thinking." Danny lifted his brows again, turning his hand over in question. "Thing is, you two have been together for almost six months now, Steve, and…" Danny paused, drew in a long breath, his eyes dropping to study the bottle in his hands. "Anyway, you were spending a lot of time with him – which is only natural; he's your boyfriend – and not so much with me."

Steve opened his mouth, the penny having clunked firmly into place. "You were jealous?"

Danny nodded, looking up from under his lashes as his hands still played with his beer bottle.

Thoughts tumbled around in Steve's head and he tried to sort them. "Jealous of him having my time, or jealous of _him_?"

Danny's voice was quiet when he spoke again, but the words cut through the silent air, sending a delicate shiver down Steve's spine. "Of him."

Steve looked at Danny, anticipation and need dancing as possibilities between them. "Did I know that when I had the accident?"

The look in Danny's eyes said it all. "I should have said something a lot earlier."

"You're damned right you should have," Steve got out with difficulty. "How'm I supposed to-" It felt like he was choking as he cut himself off. This was so not fair! All Steve wanted – all he had wanted for months, maybe even years – was Danny. 

One word could have changed everything between them so long ago, and now he was six months into a relationship he didn't even _remember_. 

A relationship he didn't even want, but had no clue if that was how he'd been feeling before he crashed his truck.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I should go." Danny started to rise from his chair, but Steve yanked him back down with his good hand. "What?" Danny let out inelegantly, looking at Steve oddly.

"Don't you dare; don't you fucking dare," Steve hissed. "Why?"

Danny actually looked frightened now. "Why what?"

"Why didn't you say something earlier? You have to know… My God, Danny, I always wanted you. _You_. Just you."

Danny ran a hand over his mouth and shook his head, his eyes locked on Steve's. "It's too late now, though, isn't it?"

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Steve asked, tears that he didn't know how to control welling up hotly behind his lids.

Danny did stand up this time. "I don't know," he said, "but I'm sorry."

Steve closed his eyes tight, trying not to let the tears out. The night was silent, apart from the rushing of blood to Steve's head. 

When he finally managed to open his eyelids, Danny was gone.

~//~//~


End file.
